A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis. (Win­ston Churchill loved them)

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.orlando espinosa apraprosdokians

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.

3. Since light trav­els faster than sound, many peo­ple appear bright when they talk.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not deter­mine who is right — only who is left.

7. Knowl­edge is know­ing a tomato is a fruit. Wis­dom is to not put it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one per­son is pla­gia­rism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus sta­tions. Trains stop in train sta­tions. My desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In fill­ing out an appli­ca­tion, ‘In case of emer­gency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blam­ing you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every suc­cess­ful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a suc­cess­ful man is usu­ally another woman.

16. A clear con­science is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a para­chute to sky­dive –only if you want to sky­dive twice.

18. Money can’t buy hap­pi­ness, but it sure makes mis­ery eas­ier to live with.

19. There’s a fine line between cud­dling and hold­ing some­one so they can’t get away.

20. I used to be inde­ci­sive. Now I’m not so sure.

21. You’re never too old to learn some­thing stupid.

22. To be sure of hit­ting the tar­get, shoot first and call what­ever you hit the target.

23. Nos­tal­gia isn’t what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vend­ing machine.

25. Going to church doesn’t make you a Chris­t­ian any more than stand­ing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there’s a will, there are rel­a­tives.

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